Ryan also announces that "When You Tell Me That You Love Me" won the brutal "Idol" group sing competition
to benefit the Red Cross, but that all three off-key collaborations will be available for purchase. I've received several
suggestions that the Red Cross would make more money if it solicited donations in exchange for burning the original masters
of all three recordings.
Last season's winner Fantasia [formerly Barrino] takes the stage to do a medley. She starts off with "Truth Is," before
she segues into a shrieking version of "I Believe," probably the worst song on her album. The judges give her a standing ovation.
Fantasia tells the Finalists that they should act ugly and not worry if they win or lose. It's unclear if Fantasia opted not
to sing her new single, "Baby Mama," out of consideration for Scott Savol, who was once accused of threatening and shoving
his own baby mama.
Ryan tells us that Ruben Studdard and Kim Caldwell are sitting in the crowd to plug their appearance on the already struggling
"Life on a Stick." The camera finds the Velvet Teddybear, but if my Peroxide Queen is in the house, there's nary a hint. Ryan
also refers to "Stick" as their sitcom debut, which will be news to the casts of "8 Simple Rules" and "One on One," who both
may have thought they worked with Ruben in the past year-and-a-half.
After the demented brilliance of last week's puppet-themed Ford commercial, this week's ad returns to generic footage of
the remaining contestants lip-synching to "Everybody Got Their Something." Bring back Fraggle Anwar.
It's time to pull the Bottom Three. Nikko Smith got mostly positive comments from the judges, but he's the first endangered
singer. Paula and Randy also loved Vonzell Solomon, but she's also in the Bottom Three, much to the audience's audible disgust.
Ryan has a new trick up his sleeve this week, eschewing all suspense. Scott is the third competitor on the riser and he completes
the Bottom Three. Nobody else needs to work up a sweat.
Bo Bice figured he was going to be in trouble this week because Show Tunes wasn't his "jondra" and he's shocked at which
singers were rejected in his place. Anthony Fedorov actually has the grace to admit that Simon got it right when the surly
judge called his Tuesday performance hideous. He thanks his fans for sticking with him even though he hasn't given a single
good performance yet.
Randy thinks America is confused as to how to vote. Paula says that it doesn't matter who gets eliminated, because all
of the singers will get record deals. Simon just shrugs and argues that it's a fair competition and they should still sing
to win.
Vonzell is sent back to safety.
After selling still more products, Ryan asks Nikko why he thinks he suffered from voter anemia. Nikko blames the theme,
which left everybody uncertain. Scott gives a winding and incoherent speech -- torn from the Paula Abdul playbook -- about
how none of us will ever be perfect, but that if we embrace our imperfections, but still strive for perfection, we might someday
accept our failings and that in welcoming the worst of ourselves, we really expose the best of ourselves and that when America
learns about your previous arrest record and your personal failings, they're somehow more eager to ignore your musical gaffes.
Or something like that.
It turns out that viewers are comfortable with letting Scott continue his quest for perfection. Given that "American Idol"
is not a character competition, viewers were more-than-entitled to disregard the domestic assault allegations that Scott once
faced. However, since "Idol" actually is a singing competition, listeners might have been wise to heed the fact that Scott
hasn't sung a note in tune for at least two weeks. Then again, Anthony's working on an even longer cold streak.
Thus, for the second time in a little over a month, Nikko Smith is going home. Since he's dealt with dismissal once before,
he just smiles and thanks everybody, singing the show through its closing credits.
